some things we dont talk about,
rather do without and just hold the smile.
(:

dear friend,

i hope this 7 years of friendship is worth it.
because i like you the way you are very much.

7 years and still counting!

nun di seberang sana.

for the first time ever, letting go is not that hard anymore,i just realised.




im coming home very very soon !

puzzles.

this one is purely dedicated to my mr skinny, you know who you are.

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention, do you?
I know you don't listen to me
Because you say you see straight through me, don't you?

how long must you wait for him?
how long must you pay for him?
how long must you wait for him?

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions,
lets go back to the start.

I was just guessin' at numbers and figures,
Pulling your puzzles apart.

Nobody said it was easy,
No one ever said it would be this hard.

Did you want me to change?
Well I'd change for good
And I want you to know that you'll always get your way
I wanted to say…

So you know how much I need you
But you never even see me, do you?
And is this my final chance of getting you.


this is actually compilation of a couple of coldplay songs.i just try to mix it all up to suit what im trying to say.


i really have a puzzle to solve with you my dear.

deeper conversation.

Is your favourite colour blue?
Do you always tell the truth?
Do you believe in outerspace?
And I'm learning you

Is your skin as tanned as mine?
Does your hair flow sideways?
Did someone took a portion of your heart?
And I'm learning you

And if you don't mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
And Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

I let my guard down for you
And in time you will too

If you don't mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
And Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me

If you don't mind
Can you tell me
All your hopes and fears
And Everything that you believe in
Would you make a difference in the world
I'd love for you to take me to a deeper conversation
Only you can make me


to you from me

deeper conversation by yuna.
she is one talented musician! hmmm dah lama tak dgr yuna and ohchentaku....

cpt la siap portfolio qila!

life as it is.

on tuesday i didnt sleep at all to prepare for my final crit on my elective.on wednesday i just slept from 3pm - 8 pm then stay at uni the whole nite with zi yang until 6 am and go back and sleep until 10am.and last nite i slept from 2 am in the morning untill 2pm the next day.gila tak.mesti ganti the days before punya tido.haha.tido matiiiii.

oh well i cant beleive the semester is almost over. just had my UN charted kosovo elective final crit last wednesday.it went quite good actually.didn't expect for Brent Alpress to be the guest crit. when i came in to the class and saw him i was like "omg is he going to crit our presentation today? gulp gulp mati lah aku".but then after i presented, it was quite ok lah.his comments also not bad ape.then after each one of us finish presenting, he said it was quite a good class, especially it broaden your knowledge about urban architecture.he is very right indeed.before this i never knew about urban sprawl in each country.about how people populated each city. is it randomly sprawled , a garden city , a grid city like melbourne, a linear city? i wonder how the population in selangor sprawled actually.i can ask fatudin since he's taking town planning.what is left for this subject is to fix our presentation to be submitted for the folio next month.

and 2 weeks left for final crit for design! next week we have to present full mock up for final.like a real one.since i have only design to focus on, i'll give full attention to it.it seems like i have to stay in the comp lab at uni almost every nights with Zi Yang until the final.i hope he'll agree to do work at level 7 lab because it was so damn hot in level 8.i know he like it there because less people and u have 2 big monitor to do your 3d etc but still i cant concentrate with my 3d if im not comfortable myself.i hope we can finish all the drawings and 3d on time.oh well i think for this presentation also i need to spend a lot for the printing.since it is large scale studio, our building is quite huge.that's why its a pair work studio.last sem it costed me about aud200++ to print for the final because somebody canceled my printing at uni so i have to print outside at the shop.i guess the this sem will cost a lot too! oh my money is flying~~.

i've not been talking to him for like long time now.awww how i miss him and my friends back in malaysia.and of course my family too.ok just 12 more days before final crit then submit the folio then im free woohoo.cant wait to go to nz with sydney people.i really need a getaway from all of this.

p/s: i hope the bunga-bunga guy(as what zi yang said, haha/the hard core guy wont be our guest crit for the final presentation.he's very rough and scary man!

haa banyak plak update setelah sekian lama.haha selamat tinggal

eid mubarak.

i guess this year its different.maybe this year he forgets.

selamat hari raya aidilfitri , maaf zahir batin to everyone i know.please forgive and forget if i ever done anything wrong to you okay?

i skip my elective class on pagi raya.still, very fortunate of me because my cousin got exam on first,second and third day of raya.its ok nadiah, 1 more raya to go! huhu.

on the day before raya itself, we had final crit for tech 3 (we as in me and partner and almost everybody lah!) and because we didn't sleep the whole night, i slept afterwards after the crit from 3pm to 9pm while all other people busy preparing for raya tomorrow.syera was out helping in malaysian hall while kak nini already celebrating in clayton , and i was sleeping alone in the house while everybody else started to bertakbir.

thats when i felt so homesick, sitting on the bed alone di malam raya.

and honestly for raya i only went to one open house and watch a movie with my housemates last night.couldnt go to others' because i was so busy in the comp lab doing design with my partner.oh well, i should feel gratitude that i still can celebrate.

5 more weeks to go! and 3 more months to go! i really really really miss them.everybody.

reply.

hey kamu,

tu men manques, seriously.

haha i am, really.

cant believe im 21 already.

oh well today is the day i turn 21 but seriously i dont feel anything.it's just plus one in the number (ceywah haha). firstly i wanna thanks my housemates for the surprise! and for the presents too! really like it ;). and also zoul,ajie,alip and taufiq for helping them in the surprise thing. they surprise me with a cake and food (yg entah bila korang masak pon taktau).okay next year partayyyy okay? reverse gender party? haha.





i didn't expect to do anything big because firstly all of us are currently broke! cant really wait for the next expense this nov. well, one of my bro promise me to buy 10 ringgit of putu piring for my birthday.haha im going to claim okay bila balik nanti. and i got this email from my family.

Dearest Qila,

Wishing you a Happy 21st Birthday, may the year ahead be more meaningful and prosperous, and May Allah bless you always.

Lots of Love from Ayah, Mama, Abg Long, Haziq & Nabil in Malaysia.

From mama - you are stepping into the early years of adulthood. Make the most of each and every year since each year of your life is unique and special. Take care always.

awwwww the part from my mum really touches me! does that mean she trusts me more now? like can i go out at night after 12? hahaha i dont think so.but i think what she really meant is as im stepping into adulthood, i can now make my own decision for what is good and what is not.thanks mama i love u so much!

well i think the best gift that i give myself is by doing nothing this weekend! n-o-t-h-i-n-g..it feels so good just relaxing at my place and sleep all day.haha.mentang2 takde kerja design.

and thanks so much to everyone for the wishes! thanks to
1.syera and kak nini
2.ajie,zoul,alip,taufiq
3.moon ( eventho try call kite tak dpt kan.huhu)
4.amirnor (thanks for calling, really appreciate it :)
5.odd
6.ekha
7.afiq nasir
8.rashdan
9.jon
10.nini
11.haziq (kamu dah janji beli putu piring utk qila 10 ringgit! qila claim bile balik msia tau)
12.zaim
13.nabil daud
14.ayah
15.mama
16.nani
17.mimah
18.fiqah
19.nenek (not my grandma but my friend)
20.ucop
21.moon,nadee,odd (thanks for the wake up call, korang nyanyi sedap la hahaha)
22.acap
23.syafiq kacip
24.anis adik
25.kaybee
26.sylva
27.ilma
28.anis kakak
29.haidar
30.inaz
31.neo
32.nabil
33.achol
34.sha
35.liana shani
36.nadiah
37.ernie ezzara
38.akmar
39.gabb
340.firdaus manan
41.mira
42.mastura
43.hannah
44.ara
45.syawa
46.yaqeen
47.zizi
48.izzah
49.oya

p/s: im over the moon rite now because that someone just show me a picture that change everything ;).maybe thats the best birthday gift?

scofield

"between you and me Sara, its real", said Michael Scofield.

...

...

is it real between you and me?

tu laa qila yang kali jangan tengok prison break byk sgt.
hahaha.

wrap it all up!

i almost order cupcakes for a friend's surprise birthday gift in malaysia.but then when i go to the website, they dont accept orders through email,fax or phone.that means you have to go to the shop yourself and order.soooooo its impossible lah kan.i know i can ask for my friend's favor kt malaysia but fikir2 balik its not worth it lah.

fikir2 balik, sometimes i treat that person wayyyy too nice.
sometimes i have to stop and dont get too excited.
maybe im trying too hard.

oh come on Qila let go let go and move on!

oh btw tomorrow im going to submit my folio and then its all done! yeayy for semester one. going to celebrate the freedom tomorrow..well,alone? so sad kan. i want to watch The Happening but then siape nak temankan? *sob sob*.Syera's going to sit for her first paper tomorrow and kak nini oredi watch it.might watch it alone.

oh well this is the life of a busy-person-when-everybody-is-free-and-free-when-everybody-is-busy.get it? haha.

both of my crazy bros will be here on thursday!! tonite they're going to fly to sydney and stay there for a couple of days before heading straight to melbourne.mau plan apa ya untuk mereka?

okay, will update later. nak tengok hot fuzz.

im feeling wooooooosh

dear you-know-who-you-are,

you can ask anything from me but please, dont ask me to find a girl for you.
i just cant.

thank you.

Im so hollow...

"im a dreamer , and when i wake , you can't break my spirit, its my dreams you take"

where is the spirit that i had back in 2002,2003 and 2004 when i was in school? the spirit of studying and do all the works with joy and excitement.Back at that time, i really did my work on time and i never procastinate.but now...hmmm the spirit has gone i tell you. gone to nowhere.

perhaps someone really made up my day back at that time? perhaps not.



"goodbye my friend, you have been the one..."


p/s: quote taken from james blunt's song , Goodbye my lover

Im hanging on every word you say.

gah! i really like this song because it meant something to me.



breathing by lifehouse
I'm finding my way back to sanity, again
Though I don't really know what
I am gonna do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back in the arms of grace
I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be I am looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God, which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be
I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the scraps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now

*chorus*

after the weird conversation a couple of days ago (i consider it was weird!), i knew from that point of time i have to let go. and i am learning to let go now.

but im really hanging on every word you say, seriously(ceywah!).i always remember everything you said to me for the past 6 years.

but we'll still be remain friends rite? you're still my best guyfriend and feel free to seek help from me if you're in trouble.