Im so hollow...

"im a dreamer , and when i wake , you can't break my spirit, its my dreams you take"

where is the spirit that i had back in 2002,2003 and 2004 when i was in school? the spirit of studying and do all the works with joy and excitement.Back at that time, i really did my work on time and i never procastinate.but now...hmmm the spirit has gone i tell you. gone to nowhere.

perhaps someone really made up my day back at that time? perhaps not.



"goodbye my friend, you have been the one..."


p/s: quote taken from james blunt's song , Goodbye my lover

yes you have to respect others when living under one roof

kalau org ckp tu jgn laa ikut bulat2..kalau ye pon nak tutup lampu inform laa org dulu so that org bole prepare nak on the study lamp.ni switch off jer, tiba-tiba gelap gulita.where is your common sense? please respect other people.

and come on lah, when you said you were raised like that (your habit of being really organised), that doesn't mean our parents didn't raise us the way it should be.We're organised what, takde pon sepah2 rumah.buttttt we were also raised to clean our dishes lepas makan/masak.takde laa tinggal atas meja,tepi sink.we were also raised to buang sampah kt basement, and not waiting for others to do it.usually organised person is also hygenic person, tapi ini tak. we dont want to tegur u because u are the oldest among us and we hope u know how to live under one roof with other people.ish geramnyeeeee.sometimes by ignoring you is the best way to calm myself.

cepat2 lah faham ye and change yourself.and btw how you live with other people before this? did you treat them the same?

siapa yang makan cili akan terasa pedas"

sleep

tomorrow im having my mid-sem crit and yet im writing this post.haha.actually we should be presenting last monday but it was extended due to lack of time for the whole studio to present in one night.So, im sort of prepared for tomorrow, 'sort of'.

why laa kan whyy when i sleep early i still couldnt wake up early? buat habis masa ajer.oklah, not that sleep is not that important ,its really kan? usually i'll sleep late(like after subuh so tht i'll not miss it) because i'll wake up late afterall so better i use the time at night kan? but last night i did an experiment and slept at 1am but end up i woke up late than usual! at 10.30am.menyesal, baik tido lambat.

thats why lah im still not sleeping now.doing more testings for my design ideas.buttt, im so sleepy rite now that makes me feel want to sleep.will continue design tomorrow morning(hope so). my design studio is at 6pm-9pm and im sure it will be a very longggg class, later than 9pm, so marilah kita ke alam mimpi sekarang.goodnite and goodluck everybody!

****wishing i could get ideas for design in my dreams*****

extended

neel& greg: due to constraint of time, half of the class will be presenting this thursday.

aduh, ingatkan dah habis stress rupanya belum. but, i can do more testing for my design ideas.

all the best for my friends who will be having their mid-sem critiques this thursday, including me.

ideas , pop!

oh God pls gimme some ideas...

am missing them rite now :(

design crit? oh noi...

gosh, my real mid semester crit for design is actually this coming monday.not the one i already had before.that one was just some guest crits coming to crit our projects.like what greg said "this is the serious one, there will be 4 guest crits coming to critique your project". Haha sounds scary for me.oh i have to prepare a lot for the crit and i hope it will turn out okay.

in the meantime, we have to at least start build our physical model for comm subject.The 3d models should be almost finished by next week with all the renders and views.gila apa.in one week? well, nothing is impossible.i have to learn to manage my time properly.thats what im lacking in.

im thinking to go back to malaysia this year for summer hols a lil bit late.thinking of working here for 1 month.i need the moneyyyy.i heard its really rewarding.hehe really need a new camera.my current one kuno gila okay, especially for archi student.

oh i really miss the good old times with my friends.most of them are having finals now.some are in their final year.So goodluck guys! i know u guys can do it :)

hmmm about a week ago i had a really weird conversation with someone.more weird conversations.hmmm if only i have all the clues.cant you just tell me what you were thinking straight to me? buat confuse je mcm ni.haish...

im missing my family too rite now.with all the crazee bros, the blur mum, the scarry father! haha.haih..goodluck to haziq i think he's going to take his IELTS test.ke dah lepas? wtv, gudluck okay.

will update later when im free.cheers!

sorry kpd rakan-rakan yg men-tag saya, im so busy to do it! will do it later when im free :)

Peliknya.

u're acting weird.
why?

i just want to know more.if only i can read your mind, yeah if onlyyyy.

:(

penatnyeeee....i just want to take a nap for one or two hours just now because i dont get enough of sleep for couple of days, but then i overslept! when i woke up its already 5.30am where i should wake up at 12 or 1am.waaaa now i cant spare my time to do comm but to do design straight away! down~~~~

huuuu i need my time back.

tahulah diri kamu.

jadilah apa yang kamu mahu asalkan kamu tidak menipu diri sendiri.

jadilah apa yang kamu mahu asalkan kamu tidak hipokrit.

jadilah apa yang kamu mahu asalkan kamu tidak mengalami identity crisis

sometimes we take things for granted

im listening to this song right now from my ipod and realised how i miss my parents so much.

sometimes i do take things for granted especially when im in malaysia and i regret it.im learning and trying to become a good daughter, the one they always wanted me to be.how i wish i can spend more time with them especially my mum :)

love you mama.

Sleepless in Melbourne

do you know that an adult just like me (am i considered as an adult? hehe) need at least 6 to 7 hours of sleep each day? But yesterday i only managed to sleep for one hour just because we have to prepare for tech presentation.dah la dtg lmbt for 1 hour , sabar je lah tutor tu ngn kiteorg.ampun ya.hehe.it was ok lah.and my design studio presentation too was so-so lah.haha.next assignments onwards will be individual work.

today i talk with my tech groupmate after tech class.we talk alot! basically its all about facing the real world out there after we have graduate in 4 years time and even about people back in malaysia.like are we the same as we are now? have we learn a lot enough? its a longggg way until we really achieve our dreams is it? but we just have to go with the flow..oh, a lot have been discussed! too long to mention here.we should talk like that more often dont you think? yeahhh and talking architecture too.hehe.i miss talking like this with my friends back in malaysia.matured talking!

this friday morning i have comm presentation and im still working on the drawings.rabun lah mataku menatap skrin ini.

ahhh really need a break this weekend.i want to spend time for myself , i mean a treat or something.

nak tido tapi enggak boleh.waaaaa.well say goodluck to myself.haha

Im hanging on every word you say.

gah! i really like this song because it meant something to me.



breathing by lifehouse
I'm finding my way back to sanity, again
Though I don't really know what
I am gonna do when I get there
Take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back in the arms of grace
I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside Heaven's door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be I am looking past the shadows
Of my mind into the truth and I'm trying to identify
The voices in my head
God, which one's you?
Let me feel one more time
What it feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me
One more time

'Cause I am hanging on every word you say
And even if you don't want to speak tonight
That's alright, alright with me
'Cause I want nothing more than to sit
Outside your door and listen to you breathing
Is where I want to be
I don't want a thing from you
Bet you're tired of me waiting
For the scraps to fall
Off your table to the ground
I just want to be here now

*chorus*

after the weird conversation a couple of days ago (i consider it was weird!), i knew from that point of time i have to let go. and i am learning to let go now.

but im really hanging on every word you say, seriously(ceywah!).i always remember everything you said to me for the past 6 years.

but we'll still be remain friends rite? you're still my best guyfriend and feel free to seek help from me if you're in trouble.

minggu yang sangat gila.

this week i have three mid-semester critiques.can u imagine that? i have design crit on monday night, technology2 on tuesday morning and communications3 on friday morning.

gila apa? im so stressed out because im afraid i cant finish all the drawings and prepare myself for all the presentations before the deadlines.dah lah design mlm tu then esok paginya ada tech.gilaaaa gilaaaaa gilaaaa.

im in comp lab rite now and just talk witm ilma, my groupmate.she gives me some advice about how to deal with all these things and now i feel quite releived.i hope it will be ok for this monday,tuesday and friday insyaAllah.

oh God please help me i know u will.
need to finish my work now, gotta go!

when everything is not right.

what's wrong with opinioted people?

there is nothing wrong with them if the opinions that they give are reasonable and logic isn't it?
sometimes we have to stop arguing for what we know ourself its not right.think again.are you fighting just for the sake of winning(and also maybe hurting other people's feelings) or you're fighting because you know you are right?

im not going to argue with things that i think its not worth.but i have limits you know. there are times when im in bad temper.dont try me or u'll regret later.your attitude doesnt suit your age at all.you think you know everything and you are right all the time? from simple things to complicated ones u'll not stop arguing.think again.you're mature enough to anylize what u did.
(this is nothing to do with the recent election)

please note that the person im talking about is not my closed friends, my groupmate , my unimate, my course mate.it is someone out there.so anyone, jgn perasan im talking about you okay? :)

lets talk about other things.
i miss my family and friends back in malaysia so much.i miss hanging out with them all the time during the summer break.i miss teasing all my brothers and being teased by them too.i miss the times when im in deep conversation with my friends.i miss talking with my mum.i miss my mum so much.i miss all the food in malaysia.all the spicy food.i miss eating ice cream with *cough cough* and just simply talk with *cough cough*.i miss everything basically ;0

my design studio did not went well last monday.the tutors said there were no improvements in our design progress and our mid sem critique is next monday.how scary is that? a lot of work need to be done and i know we can do it(hope so aminnnn).chaiyok!

current mood: stress , dissapointed , homesick